Recognizing and Responding to Signs of Distress in Students
Listening, supporting, and encouraging your friends can really make a difference in their life. Sometimes you might hesitate to bring up a concern because you are afraid you will upset your friend, hurt your friendship, or not be helpful, but most of the time your friend will be grateful to know that someone cared enough to reach out and take a risk.
If you see these signs you should be thinking about reaching out or letting someone know:
- Not going to class
- Listlessness, lack of energy, complaints about fatigue
- Not showering, looking disheveled
- Impaired speech or disjointed, confused thoughts
- Aggressive or threatening behavior
- Extreme mood changes or inappropriate display of emotions
- Frequent crying
- Dramatic weight loss or gain and/or preoccupation with food, weight, or body shape
- Losing touch with reality such as hearing or seeing things that are not there, beliefs they have extraordinary powers; concerns they are being watched
- Alcohol-related consequences such as blacking out, vomiting
- Cuts or burns on their body
Responding to Students in Distress
- Reach out to a friend about whom you are concerned; PLEASE do not ignore strange, disturbing or inappropriate behavior. If you feel like you cannot have the conversation, notify your RA, consult with the Counseling Center and/or complete the One Pard Universal Form.
- It will be easier to have a positive impact if you address your concerns as soon as you notice them rather than waiting until the behavior becomes more serious.
- Be discrete; choose a private space to talk.
- Be specific about your concerns. “I noticed that you’ve been in your room a lot lately and you haven’t been going to our class; or I noticed that you look like you’ve been crying a lot lately, and you don’t seem like yourself.”
- Be clear about what you can and cannot keep private. You can’t promise confidentiality if someone has told you that they are going to hurt themselves or someone else.
- Be optimistic about the potential for them to make positive changes while encouraging them to think about the obstacles they will likely face. Being realistic about the challenges of making a change makes it much more likely to happen.
Making a Referral to the Counseling Center – Some Suggestions for What You Can Say:
- “Have you ever thought about talking to a counselor about this issue? It’s free, and they have to keep things confidential; they meet with hundreds of students every year. About 40% of students in each graduating class have gone to the counseling center.”
- “Maybe you could go just once to check it out and see if it’s for you before deciding it’s not going to be helpful?”
- “Can you think of any benefits to talking to someone who can help you come up with some solutions vs. sticking with the same strategies you’ve been using?”
- “I’d be willing to call the Counseling Center with you or we could go together. If you are ready to go today I know they have drop-in consultation from 10-11:30am & 1-3:30pm.”
Asking about Suicide
Asking a friend whether they are thinking about suicide can feel uncomfortable and even frightening. You cannot increase someone’s risk of hurting themselves just by bringing up the topic. Research shows that acknowledging and talking about suicide might actually reduce suicidal thoughts. Many students feel very relieved when someone realizes they are hurting so much that they are having thoughts about not wanting to be alive. Even though someone might be thinking about suicide, it doesn’t mean they have a clear plan. The opportunity to have a conversation with a caring person can significantly reduce the risk that a student will actually harm themselves.
Signs a student might be considering suicide include:
- Expressions of hopelessness about the future, or being able to change or improve
- Expressions of being a burden to friends, family, the college
- Difficulty connecting with others
- Physical signs that they have cut or injured themselves
- Giving away possessions
- Talking about “if/when I’m gone….”
- Detaching from responsibilities and routine
Events associated with increased risk include:
- Death of a family member or close friend
- Sudden breakup in a relationship
- Problems with family members, friends, or roommates
- Experiencing or causing an accident
- Getting arrested or doing something about which one is deeply ashamed
- Diagnosis of a serious illness
- Academic setbacks
Responding to Concerns about Suicide
If you have ANY concern that a student might be considering suicide, you should ask them directly about your concerns. Here are some ways you can ask:
-Do things ever get so bad that you have thoughts of wanting to die?
-Have you had any thoughts of suicide?
-Are you thinking about taking your own life?
- Express your concern and let them know that their safety is your priority.
- If they indicate they are currently thinking seriously about hurting themselves, do not let them leave your room.
- During regular business hours, call the Counseling Center at 610.330.5005 and inform the office coordinator a student needs to be seen immediately. Accompany the student to the Counseling Center on the 2nd floor of the Bailey Health Center if possible.
- When the Center is closed, call 610.330.5005 to speak with an after-hours crisis counselor.*Calls are routed based upon risk, so it is important to disclose any safety concerns when the call is answered.
- Always call Public Safety 610.330.4444 for assistance if a student is communicating via text or email that they are in imminent danger of harming themselves.
- For less urgent concerns, please complete the One Pard Universal Form to alert the Student Support and Intervention Team.
Additional Crisis Support Services
Emergency Room at Lehigh Valley Hospital-Muhlenberg (610) 402-8000
2545 Schoenersville Road, Bethlehem, PA 18017
Togetherall is a peer-to-peer mental health community that empowers students to anonymously seek and provide support. This online resource is moderated by mental health professionals and offers a safe space for students connect with others experiencing similar feelings 24/7, 365 days a year. Togetherall also offers journaling, goal-setting and self-assessment tools, in addition to a wide range of self-guided courses to help support student mental health and well-being.
Mental Health Training
Kognito is an interactive role-play simulation for students that builds awareness, knowledge, and skills about mental health and suicide prevention, and prepares users to lead real-life conversations with fellow students in distress and connect them with support. Click on the picture below to be directed to the online training.